What I Say VS. What I Think

Setup:
I'm at work. It's 10 to 9 and I'm counting cash and trying to close. Music lessons are coming to an end for the night (thank god) and I'm rushing to get things done so I don't miss the bus home. Guitar student's mother is sitting, waiting to take her daughter home.

Actual Conversation:

Customer: "What's that music I hear?"

Me: "Ummmm.... It could be a lot of things. I mean, you're in a music store."

Customer: "I hear someone singing. Do you offer singing lessons?"

Me: "Yeah, the singing you hear is coming from a vocal lesson."

Customer: "Who's singing? Is that the student or the teacher?"

Me: *recounting the money for the 3rd time because the women won't shut up* "It's both of them, together."

Customer: "Oh I love that song!"

Me: "I don't know what it is, but it's driving me nuts quite honestly. I've been hearing it over and over all day and it's annoying."

Customer: "It's Lady Gaga, Monster Ball."

Me: "OH. WELL." *makes a face*

Customer: *now humming and singing along* "I love this song. I love Lady Gaga. Isn't she great?"

Me: *silence*

Customer: "My daughter dressed up as Lady Gaga for halloween and it was just great. She had the sun glasses and everything. And everyone knew who she was. It was just great.... just great."

Me: "Mmmhmm."


What I'm actually thinking:

Customer: "What's that music I hear?"

Me: "What the fuck do you think it is? Look around you, dumbass."

Customer: "I hear someone singing. Do you offer singing lessons?"

Me: "I don't know. Why don't you just look at the sign directly in front of your face."

Customer: "Who's singing? Is that the student or the teacher?"

Me: *recounting the money for the 3rd time because the women won't shut up* "Shut the fuck up. I'm busy."

Customer: "Oh I love that song!"

Me: "GOOD FOR YOU. I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU. REALLY, I AM. NOW SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP."

Customer: "It's Lady Gaga, Monster Ball."

Me: "Well NO FUCKING WONDER I FEEL LIKE SHOOTING MYSELF IN THE FACE."

Customer: *now humming and singing along* "I love this song. I love Lady Gaga. Isn't she great?"

Me: "I don't know. Why don't you go find her?"

Customer: "My daughter dressed up as Lady Gaga for halloween and it was just great. She had the sun glasses and everything. And everyone knew who she was. It was just great.... just great."

Me: *reaches for the bottle of chloroform."


Maybe customer service isn't for me.