I'm bored with everything on my iPod, and everything on the radio sounds the goddamn same... and it's awful shit. I feel like I don't even know how to play my guitar anymore. I pick it up and I don't know what to do with it. I don't even remember how to play my own songs.
I've now been at my job for over 10 months and I'm more miserable and jaded than ever. Every "musician" that I work with is exactly what I consider to not be a musician and everything I never want to be. Egotistical, competitive, arrogant, irresponsible, immature (not to mention a hillbilly). In my opinion, being a musician is not a hobby- it's a career. Until the day that playing music becomes you're full time job, you are not a musician- just a wannabe. But everyone has to start somewhere I suppose. Maybe these inbred pig farmers that I call co-workers are what have left such a tainted taste in my mouth.
Tonight while goofing about on the internet, I decided to give my iTunes playlist another chance to sweep me off my feet. I started with the song "Little Hell" by City and Colour, which I absolutely love and put the shuffle setting on. As much as I love "Little Hell" it still didn't make me feel anything.
Finally the song "Paper Wings" by Rise Against came on and for the first time in several months I got goosebumps. I immediately turned off shuffle and put on the Siren Song For The Counter Culture album. Front to back. I'm in love. Again. It's literally the perfect record. It feels good to be me.
