I have to be honest...

I'm not sure why, but lately I've been pretty off of music. I don't know if it's due to working so much and being so constantly exhausted, or growing up faster than I'd like to and becoming jaded, or a combination of both. Lately everything I listen to either bores me to the point of turning it off, or makes me outright cringe. This whole situation upsets me more than I can textually explain. I start to feel like I've lost myself- since when am I not interested in music? It's the most important thing in my life. If I don't have that, what do I have?

I'm bored with everything on my iPod, and everything on the radio sounds the goddamn same... and it's awful shit. I feel like I don't even know how to play my guitar anymore. I pick it up and I don't know what to do with it. I don't even remember how to play my own songs.

I've now been at my job for over 10 months and I'm more miserable and jaded than ever. Every "musician" that I work with is exactly what I consider to not be a musician and everything I never want to be. Egotistical, competitive, arrogant, irresponsible, immature (not to mention a hillbilly). In my opinion, being a musician is not a hobby- it's a career. Until the day that playing music becomes you're full time job, you are not a musician- just a wannabe. But everyone has to start somewhere I suppose. Maybe these inbred pig farmers that I call co-workers are what have left such a tainted taste in my mouth.

Tonight while goofing about on the internet, I decided to give my iTunes playlist another chance to sweep me off my feet. I started with the song "Little Hell" by City and Colour, which I absolutely love and put the shuffle setting on. As much as I love "Little Hell" it still didn't make me feel anything.
Finally the song "Paper Wings" by Rise Against came on and for the first time in several months I got goosebumps. I immediately turned off shuffle and put on the Siren Song For The Counter Culture album. Front to back. I'm in love. Again. It's literally the perfect record. It feels good to be me.

Music Monday: Deaf Havana

I love these guys way too much. Think of them as the British Watch Out! era Alexisonfire. They write really catchy, melodic- yet heavy music. Their record Meet Me Halfway, At Least is kick ass all the way through. The guitarist/singer James Amadeus Veck-Gilodi has quite the set of pipes on him, dare I say reminiscent of a young Dallas Green. The screamer (who unfortunately left the band this past May) is brutal (in a good way). I think I wrote about DH in my last old blog, but like I said, I love them big time. Check out the video for their song Friends Like These from their 2009 release Meet Me Halfway, At Least. Bonus points because James is actually wearing an AOF Watch Out! shirt in the video.