What A Dud

...and a disappointment at that. On friday, I was suppose to be playing my first real show. By real, I mean more than playing a cover at my high school's coffee house last year. The fact that I was on at midnight didn't help either. All of my friends who were suppose to come backed out due to work/school/whatever on saturday morning. Yes, some of my loser friends actually have school on saturdays. I was really disappointed. Nobody made an effort on my birthday (blog to come) and while I know 12 is late, especially all the way downtown, I was just really upset. On top of that I was concerned that I wouldn't be asked to play any more shows after selling only two tickets. I was asked to aim for 30. I got to the venue and was told "There's a good amount of people in there." I swallowed hard. I'd been losing sleep over this day. Not eating, having panic attacks, hot and cold flashes. It was a big deal to me. But I just needed to break the ice and then I'd look forward to playing many more gigs in the near future. I walked up the flight of stairs and into the room where the stage was. I had to be there an hour and a half before my set time.

I anticipated going to chill back stage, maybe have a beer. Just calm down. I was told to lean my guitar against the wall and go watch the show. I walked in to find the venue, which probably could have held 1000 people, with MAYBE 60-70 people lingering around. MAYBE. There was no reason for me to be there early. There was no backstage, no soundcheck, no sign in, nothing.

The band that was on when I got there was The Light Division. They are a signed band that the promoter Supernova brings out to show "Look what we can do for you." I didn't realize this at first, but I did realize that they really had their shit together and the instant I walked into the room I felt out of my element and ready to cry. The crowd was small, but the stage, the lights, the venue... "This is all bigger than me".

The bands that went up after them where terrible. Every single one of them. They were kids, like me, and although my ears started to bleed, at one band in particular, I felt much more at ease.

By the time 12:15 rolled around there were 30-40 people there. I got up on stage, banged out my set one out of tune song and lame joke after the other, jumped off the stage and went home. I had to be at work for 9am saturday morning. The dumbasses at Supernova forgot to collect the money from me so I gave my friend his $10 back. The whole thing was pointless. I played to a bigger, more responsive crowd in my high school cafeteria last year, and this did nothing for me in terms of preping me for real shows. This wasn't a real show. It wasn't worth the stress, or panic, or loss of sleep and calories. It wasn't worth the gas wasted on going down to fucking Queen St. It wasn't worth the disappointment and upset I felt towards my friends who bailed. And it certainly wasn't worth getting 4.5 hours of sleep before working a whole shift the next day.

If Supernova did call me back and ask me to play another show, I'd say no. It's not worth my time/effort. Nothing was accomplished from it. In fact, it was totally pointless.

To all those kids who want nothing more than to play music, and can't get into a bar yet, Supernova isn't the way to go about it. Don't waste your time.

Because I Am A Geek

This is the simplest, most awesome idea ever. I have all my ticket stubs, from everything. My birthday is on thursday.... just sayin'.

My Wish List For My 18th Birthday

Today is September 4, 2010. In just 40 short days, on October 14, I will be 18. Every since I was a little kid, I had this habit of typing up a wish list of all the things I wanted for my birthday every single year. I would write how much it costs and where it could be bought and then I would print out 10 copies and leave strategically around my house. Despite the fact that I'm not a baby anymore, this year will be no different. Anyone who ever says "I don't want a gift" or "Really, there's nothing I want" is full shit. Everyone wants presents. It's your birthday, the one time of year when you can be as big of a glutton as you want. Since I'm turning 18 this year, I feel like I entitled to ask for bigger things than usual. 18 is a big deal. And so, I present to you, my 2010 birthday list.

1. A car. Any simple Corvette or Lambo will do. I'm not that picky. I just don't think that it's fair that all these kids on My Super Sweet 16 get a car before they even turn 16. I'm going to be 18 damn it. It's about time. Oh, and it has to have a vegan leather interior.

2. A Mac. I've been using the same old crappy Dell laptop since the 9th grade. And no, I'm not spoiled. I paid for it myself. But it's getting older and crappier by the day, and this time around I want a Mac. One of the big pretty desktop ones with the purple wallpaper.

3. An elephant. There are three good reasons I should get an elephant. Think of it as a multiple-purpose gift. It would be a pet, a vehicle and a bodyguard all in one. Seriously, who would mess with a kid on an elephant? I will name him Stampy as an homage to Bart Simpson. I will share my vegetarian food with him, so feeding him isn't an issue. And if I get Stampy, I will be okay not getting a car. It's a package deal. I don't want to be greedy or anything.

4. Rise Against. They're my favourite live band and I haven't seen them since July 2009. That's more than a year ago! I want them to play a show on the deck in my backyard. If they are not available, the Foo Fighters are an acceptable substitute.

5. A Smoke's Poutinerie location on my driveway. Poutine from Smoke's is my favourite junk food ever. I crave it all the time, especially in the middle of the night, but the closet one is more than an hour's drive away. That just will not do.

6. George Clooney.

7. A tattoo. Actually I want a few. Joey's paw print, a music note, some lyrics, etc.

8. An LCD tv. I'm still using an old CRT. I want a BIG HDTV mounted to the wall in my room.

9. A trampoline floor and a velcro ceiling. You do the math.

10. A dumpster full of foam and a ramp of equal height. Again, I think this is pretty obvious. I want to ride my bike/skateboard/mom's minivan/anything with wheels up and off the ramp where I can then land in the foam pit.